If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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