nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
