quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
