I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize