I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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