im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
