Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
