im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She said her name was "party"
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
