P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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