she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
