Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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