i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
