dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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