i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
