I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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