Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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