He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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