he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
