he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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