Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
