The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize