hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
