Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
