I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
