Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
