oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
