ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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