How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
