i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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