ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
