y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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