so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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