Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize