Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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