We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
