I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
