I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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