you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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