I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize