bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
