So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
