So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
