before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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