Just mADE A PArabola og urine
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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