u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
