you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
