don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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