so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
