Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Couch. On fire.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
