I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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