Say something about gay babies.
false alarm. still invincible.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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