I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize