I am in a vortex of obligation.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
