it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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