next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
