I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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