My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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