I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
