He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize