If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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