the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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