I seem to have left my pride at pride
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize