My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
