The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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