great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
