Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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